DATING AN INTP
Quiet, contained and flexible is how the INTP personality type is described in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator official website. These people are great thinkers, often extending their analytical powers to relationships as well. At the same time, they are efficient problem-solvers which make them exceedingly handy to have in one’s life. So if you are interested in dating an INTP, here are a few tips to help you along.
The Perceiving aspect of the INTP personality makes them flexible, easy-going people. They usually prefer to remain open to new information and experiences rather than try to live according to a plan or a strict schedule. So don’t be taken aback if your INTP partner decides to cancel your dinner date and instead asks you to accompany him/her to a football match since someone has given him/her front-row seats for the game. At times your partner may think nothing of dropping a date altogether, perhaps for the simple reason that on that day he/she felt like doing something else. However in all likelihood, your partner will also be the first person to call you up the next day and suggest that he/she takes you out for coffee or make it up to you somehow. If you are the Judging sort according to the MBTI keywords, this characteristic in an INTP may be difficult to understand and may even appear to be a sign of flightiness or indecisiveness. However rather than accusing your INTP partner of not knowing their mind, try to understand their tendency to keeping one’s options open and their dislike for living according to a highly structured way of life. Keep plans to a minimum when dating an INTP and simply take pleasure in their spontaneous way of doing things.
The presence of Introversion and Thinking aspects in the INTP personality type make these people exceedingly partial towards analyzing everything in their lives, including their relationships. So you may find out after a few weeks into your relationship that your INTP girlfriend has been dissecting every word you said to her on your second date. Or your INTP boyfriend may be thinking over and over why you paid for the lunch date instead of allowing him to foot the bill. This excessive analysis might grate on your nerves sometimes but try to have patience with your INTP partner since they need to understand thoroughly what is going on with their lives before they can fully accept and be happy in the relationship. In fact the positive side of their analytical mind is a great gift for problem solving. INTPs have a deep interest in the theoretical and will keenly examine a problem from all angles till they have reached the crux of the matter and come up with a solution. So whether you are wondering which bank to approach for a mortgage or how to organize a Christmas bash for family and friends, you can count on your INTP partner for coming up with the best plans and the necessary research even if he/she may not be up for much running about.
Indulge their love for the abstract
INTPs are fascinated by the world of abstractions and ideas. They love ranging into the realm of theories and examining every hypothesis, proof and conclusion. So if you are thinking of taking your INTP partner on a date, how about visiting a museum for post-modern art or attending a workshop on aeronautical engineering. Remember that despite their analytical bent of mind, INTPs are highly innovative and love trying out new things. Other simpler activities which are equally likely to interest an INTP are reading, cultural events, teaching and meditation. If you are stuck indoors on a rainy evening instead of reaching out for DVDs, take out the chess board and settle down with a cup of steaming espresso. Above all, try to engage to engage them intellectually since they are drawn to people who can match their keen minds or quick wit. So instead of making the rounds of nightclubs and movies in town, try to think of dating activities which include debates and discussion or are structured around games and activities based on strategy and analysis.
Don’t be over-emotional
Like everything else in their world, INTPs tend to deal with personal situations too in a logical and reasonable manner. So when your INTP partner has changed plans for the third time in as many weeks or you have been getting their answering machine for two straight days, avoid forcing a hysterical confrontation on them. Rather adopt a rational attitude and lay open your concerns to your partner. Considering their bent for logic and problem-solving, it is more likely that you will be able to reach out to them this way rather than launching into an emotional tirade or getting overly-dramatic about your hurt feelings. Remember, INTPs understand the world of reason and thoughts better than that of feelings and emotions, no matter how overpowering and important the latter are to you.
Allow them their space
The INTP personality type tends to be a private person and is uncomfortable among large, faceless crowds. This is because of the Introversion aspect of their psychological makeup which makes them look inward for making sense of the world and all that is happening in their lives. Thus it would be a good idea not to force them to meet large groups of people or take them to venues where there are huge crowds of unknown people. In fact on occasions your INTP partner may even withdraw into his/her shell and seem to be lost in their private world. At such times they may appear to be emotionally unavailable to you or seem unresponsive to your needs. However it is important that you allow them this freedom and space so that they can come back to you emotionally recharged and better able to love you with all the depth of their hearts.